very very poor
the opening scene was too long, the camera was too shaky. use a tripod. the low camera angle in the second scene was ok, but only that. commercials try to pack as much of a punch in as little time as possible, hence they typically are composed of many many short scenes. yours is just 2 overly long scenes, and it's not captivating. also, your cinematography is poor. the only redeeming factor is the music, but any fool can put epic music to poor visuals. the drinking and exhaling is a clichéd idea, and not nearly enough to sustain this piece. also, as the others mentioned, this is for flash, not live action videos converted into flash.
this is just really really awful.